It was Karl Lagerfeld who designed Victoria’s tongue-in-cheek style atrocity last night at the UK Glamour Awards. Of course it was. Look at those gloves.

Only Karl would approve of that kind of “upstagery”, only the militant Karl and his missing bitch beating fan would appreciate that even Posh has “fat days” – days when she doesn’t feel like trying on clothes, even at Chanel, because of some embarrassing (though imaginary) bloat.

And only Karl would condone the Posh Diet, which apparently consists of “algae and seaweed shakes”…yum.

What did you have for dinner last night? For me it was fish & chips, wrapped in a daily and doused with vinegar. Also a pint of Guinness. Heaven.

Sorry, I digress.

About Victoria and her starvation solidarity with Karl – so strong their bond that when asked about the potential one day of becoming Lady Beckham, with opposition currently flaring against a possible Beckham knighthood because she isn’t posh enough for the title, Victoria replied:

“Who cares if I’m not posh enough. All I care about is that Karl Lagerfeld said I’m cool — and he’s the man.”

And finally, never one to shy away from judging others, when asked about seeing Paris Hilton at the MTV Movie Awards:
“That was weird. You’d think the night before you went to jail you’d stay in with your mum and dad - not go to an awards bash.”

Totally makes sense…if it wasn’t coming from her, that is.

For someone constantly harping about privacy, about the safety of her children, you’d think she herself would try to stay in with her mum and dad more often too, non?

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