Victoria Beckham is moaning and groaning about how rough it was finding a multimillion dollar mansion in Beverly Hills that met her high standards. She has also revealed that getting her boys into local private schools wasn’t easy either – that she actually had to promise to be an involved parent and participate in PTA events with other rich people who manage to fit community activities into a lifestyle of couture and cocktail parties.

Said Victoria:

“It’s so bloody hard getting into a private school in Beverly Hills. As a parent you feel like you are on trial. I’ve been having to promise to do loads for the school and David has offered to give the pupils some football lessons. I’m just worried that my cupcakes won’t be up to standard!”

Can you bake cupcakes with tacky fake nails???

As for finally finding the house of their American dreams, Posh explained: “A lot of the houses I looked at were really garish — lots of gold, all very Versace. Believe it or not David and I do have good taste. I like everything to be simple and plain.”

Damn! Did she just call Donatella garish??? And funnily enough, isn’t that how you would have pictured her house anyway? After all, this is the same woman who had her wedding portraits taken on his and her throne, right? The same Victoria who continues to pop her concrete tits encased in luxury brand name whenever the opportunity? Did “simple and plain” just become Chav?