Married to that piece of hotness? Every day is her birthday.

But what would a Posh birthday be without shopping? In Paris no less?

Here they are, the Beckhams, colour and coif coordinated per usual, fighting off those smutty reports that they’ve grown apart due to her frequent jaunts to America. Oh please. As if she’d ever, ever leave him. After the Loos Incident? If she didn’t leave him then, why would she ever live him…ever???

It takes 2 to make the brand, infidelity be damned. Goddess save the Beckhams!

And Goddess please give me a crack at her closet. Those shoes, those jeans, look closely at the jeans…the seam, you see? DVB in orange? Love, love, love. But do you also hate the bitch for owning a Birkin in every colour imaginable?

PS. She looks good with blonde and plum lips, non?

PPS. Does it make you crazy how he touches her? That he’s a touchy feely guy without creeping you out like the GMD? Total Quivering Hotness and one of the reasons why, though he’s definitely a philanderer, I think he genuinely loves his wife. Because whatever he is, David Beckham is not an actor.