The Posh Philosophy: always choose skinny and orange over wrinkle-free and healthy.

Here they are, the Beckhams at the tail end of their French vacation before making their Los Angeles debut later this week.

A rare occasion: both look sh-t together – he with his two tone head to facial hair mismatch, she and her obvious sunburn. Bright red around the neck, in the third photo especially Posh looks very, very, very old.

But this is her choice. It is her choice not to eat, to shrivel in the sun, to watch herself age as her husband gets hotter. And this is what David Beckham’s legendary libido has to look at every day.

So now that he’s coming to America, how hard will it be to stay faithful? How many boob jobs you want to bet that Denise Richards and her pandering playbook of dirty tricks will be all over that sh-t in a heartbeat?

Look out Victoria...