Posh was in Germany yesterday promoting her jeans, trying harder than f-ck to sell her style.

What is the Victoria Beckham style?

Everybody says her style is Alien.

I say her style is becoming Animé. She looks like a Japanese cartoon. Those angles on her face making her eyes all buggy, a distinct air of androgyny about her body, never any round edges, pointy winged shoulders, and legs that always flare out by the feet…

Scary thing is, especially when she’s wearing black, some animé characters actually look fatter than she is.

I’ve often wondered whether or not my arm can fit into one of her pant legs. This is not a facetious question. My arms are where I store my chubb. How mortifying would it be if I couldn’t?

And you know what she’d tell if that were the case?

She’d tell me that it’s not because she’s too skinny, it’s because I’m too big.

Photos from Wenn.com