Victoria Beckham arrived at Heathrow today in a cuuuuute pink dress with blue bows and matching blue big heels. Always matching. She doesn’t know how to not match right.

Strangeness is afoot with these Beckhams lately, non? She and David are apart for most of the summer so far, then he returns and meets the family in France, promptly leaves again with first son Brooklyn to go to Wimbledon, no sooner does he return and now she’s off back to London.

This is not to say that it’s over. Please. It’s not just a relationship, it’s also a brand. But those UK gossips, always looking for something loose to base a breakup rumour on, this just gives them more fuel to sell it.

Let’s discuss the possibility of a Beckham split though, just for sh-ts and giggles. He, as you know, could find a permanent cockride replacement in less than 5 minutes. But Victoria, as you can see, as you have observed, as demonstrated by the poseharding, the not eating, the clothing, the bags, the face... she is profoundly insecure. And leaving him, even though she has certainly accomplished so much on her own, is not “The Great Perhaps”* I can see her attempting. Marrying him was her rebirth. And it’s not that we’ve assigned it as such, it’s that she’s self assigned it to be true.

*“I go to seek a Great Perhaps” – these are the alleged last words of Francois Rabelais, and I only know this because I recently read a book called Looking for Alaska by John Green in which the teen protagonist adopts this as his high school motto. YA, good YA, is SO underrated. (Thanks to Vicky V at The Flying Dragon, my favourite bookstore that I’ve never been to.)

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