Though she’s loved by gays and gossips, Posh knows the key to America is the MiniVan Majority. And still she can’t shed the stilettos.

Love. Her.

So here she is with the boys at soccer practise, cuddling with Cruz as Brooklyn imitates Dad, playing sideline mom along with all the other sideline moms and hoping for a feature on the cover of People Magazine.

Unfortunately for Victoria, this is a demographic that appreciates a different kind of Fraud. The kind of Fraud dressed up as America’s Sweetheart and a Friend with an affinity for “happy” and shouting at the ocean. Or even the kind of Fraud who covets the poolboy but marries Dawson’s high school crush.

So if Posh really wants to conquer the MiniVan, she’ll have to take lessons Katie Holmes and Jennifer Garner.

Til then, to them, she’ll always be thinner and better dressed. And would the Majority ever stand for that? Hell na.