Two new ads released from the Armani underwear campaign featuring the Beckhams, both of them flexing every muscle, looking at thin as possible, posing harder than they’ve ever posed before.

The couple that posehards together stays together.

What kills me is the way David is arching his back. Like they practise it at home. When she’s on top of him, and they’re making love surrounded by mirrors, do you think she says – no darling, angle your body this way, it looks way better…?

She totally does.

What is the significance of that rope? Is it subliminally but not really so subtly supposed to tell us that his Beckham is long and thick and braided?

Art. I don’t get it.

Maybe it’s because I’m Chinese.