It’s one of my favourite things about JK Rowling – that she truly knows her characters, that they behave the way they do because that is who they are. She doesn’t alter their choices to fit in with a plotline, she doesn’t force their decisions to get to an end goal. This is also the reason why her names always fit so perfectly. I loved reading that Draco had a son called Scorpius. Of course he’s called Scorpius. Scorpius is, no doubt, 100% a Malfoy descendent.

And same goes for the Patronuses. All the Patronuses are as they should be. It should absolutely be that Hermione’s is an otter and that Luna’s is a hare. I always cry at the part when Snape reveals his for the first time. I always feel a fist pump come on at Expecto Patronum!

But how do you choose your own Patronus? Can you? Only if you truly understand yourself, right?

What’s your Patronus?

My Patronus is a Turtle.

For a number of reasons. Chinese people are really into turtles. They believe turtles can cure almost everything. Many years ago my grandfather was near death and then he ate like a really old turtle and he was healed and lived for another 10 years.

Also, you know I’m obsessed with poo, and because of my, um, poo problems, I’ve always been teased by my guy friends bout feeling a turtle coming on. They say it to make me jealous. What? You’ve never heard that expression? You’ve never been around a boy who had to rush to the bathroom because he could feel his turtle? I am always jealous of a person who can feel a turtle. It means they’re eliminating and I’m not.

Finally, I have a really small head. When I put my hair up, it’s especially small. It’s small enough for Jacek to walk around calling me Turtle Head. I really hate this nickname but he can’t get enough of it. He likes to pinch his fingers together to form a really small aperture and say that my weird tiny head can fit into the little space between four fingers when you mash them together at the nails. When he wants to really annoy me, he’ll do this little finger trick and then say “Hi Turtle Head, you’re poking out!”

Turtles are everywhere in my life.

So while I’d love for my Patronus to be something elegant like a dolphin or a gazelle, I know that those are not what Jo would choose. She would make mine a Turtle.

My Patronus is a Turtle.

What’s yours?

We can discuss this during the Harry Potter Liveblog next week. It’ll likely be on Monday. Will let you know soon.

In the meantime, Popeater put together a list of Harry Potter tribute videos today and I totally forgot about the homoerotic one. I also forgot about when Daniel Radcliffe grew out his hair. Please let that not happen again, ever.