Warning – this is dirty and crass and, for some, not very appetising. So if you are the prudish type, prone to huffing and puffing your sanctimony through your nose…stop reading now. Otherwise, save your indignant emails. You’ve been cautioned.

He is hot and hirsute and horny, has had a varied career spanning television and big budget Hollywood productions but has preferred of late to stick with indie fare. Currently single and while there may be many reasons why – his romantic requests regarding the finger could have something to do with it.

A while back he was seeing a girl, a waitress, of course, not terribly serious but they were booty calling regularly to her delight until he became rather “obsessed” – a direct quote – with where he wanted her to put her finger.

Turns out he enjoys being stimulated in that dark orifice and eventually, although she takes great pleasure in starf&cking, using her digits so creatively became too much for even her to bear. And so she broke things off…which is why he prefers to pay for it now since he knows his particular predilection skews to the kinky side.

I know it’s not ladylike to talk of such things but my gays say it really is the most stimulating thing ever. Yet another reason why homos are that much more evolved.