Check out Madonna in Rome at the opening of her Hard Candy Fitness Club. As you can see, she’s wearing a grill. Why Is Madonna’s grill?

Celebitchy posits that it might be about copying Miley Cyrus and staying young and relevant. I can’t argue with that. But I do want to add that the grill might also be about deflection.

Like how she wears gloves to camouflage the signs of aging on her hands. I wonder if the grill is serving a similar purpose. Because she’s hoping you’ll be so focused on it that you won’t notice whatever it is that’s happening on her face?

This is Madonna, a master at the art of attention-whoring. She knows when she’s making you talk about her. That’s the whole point. Criticising her grill is giving her EXACTLY what she wants. She wants you to look at it. She wants you to sh-t on it. She’s playing you to care about it. For the sake of being cared about? Or so that you’re caring about that and not something else…?

Like…did she get her teeth capped? Does she have dentures now?