Why Xenu Loves Will

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 17, 2007 06:33:48 December 17, 2007 06:33:48

Will Smith once said that he owns the 4th of July, referring to his impressive Independence Day box office record, not only with the title film’s impressive performance but with most of his summer blockbusters, regardless of how well or how poorly they’re reviewed.

Suffice to say after this weekend, Will Smith not only owns the 4th of July, he now also owns Christmas, with I Am Legend securing the best December opening ever, making Will Smith the most bankable movie star in the business.

This is why Xenu loves Will Smith. Because 30% of Will’s box office is a lot of money. The Church wants his big bank account, the GMD wants his big balls, Will might want some young balls of his own… everybody’s on the same page.
Praise Xenu, ah-Thetan.

photos from Wenn

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