I loved Will Smith. Will Smith was perfect. 

And then Will Smith drank the Xenu juice. Will Smith hasn’t been the same since.

So Will dropped by Ellen’s yesterday to promote Hancock – did you watch? Sigh. Made me sad. Once upon a time, Will Smith wasn’t so… contrived. Nowadays it’s like he’s taken a page from Tom Cruise: totally rehearsed, pandering, maybe not so creepy, but also completely devoid of spontaneity. Even Ellen seemed shellshocked by the transformation. 

First it’s the overt reference to his attraction to his wife. They were talking about Jada’s dress at an awards show or something and Will takes it one step further by telling Ellen that Jada looked so hot that he whispered to her – I’m gonna tear that thing up tonight!

Somewhere out there, Tom Cruise is wiping himself down. 

What’s even weirder though is from that Will switched gears almost immediately to studying about spirituality, to being a good father, to surrounding oneself with “good” people as a path to enlightenment. 

Selling a movie is like running for office. The MiniVan Majority often can’t tell the difference. And they’ve turned Will Smith into a zombie.