Tori Spelling was featured in the February issue of Self Magazine and, amid her sickening gush about the bullsh-t life she’s created from the smoldering embers of a home wrecked, she decided to share with us a poem KFed Jr once sent to her blackberry – golddigger’s attempt to violate the English language.

Will reprint below but be warned… you will want to stop living after this.

Two hearts become one
rising from the ashes,
Embattled lives no more.
For I have met you

Pure love penetrating our souls,
alone no more, united as one.
With belly full of child.
a family is born with everlasting love.

Forever my heart is yours.
Forever. For I have met you.



Attached – Tori and Junior shopping this weekend, spending the money she’s earned from all those dumbasses who bought her book and watch her tv show. Who ARE these people???

Look how Tori’s trying to pretend she’s not thrilled about people taking her picture. And Jr all man about dragging his paycheques around town. He’s the Canadian actor who can’t make it legitimately. Be proud about that, motherf*cker.

Photos from