You know I was just thinking to myself the other day – we’ve been blessed by many consecutive weeks, almost the entire summer actually, without any Rossum. Perhaps sensing this, Rossum is back, and punishing us for lost time in the worst way with a triple dose of the special sugar-raping brand of nasty ass nausea only she can deliver.

Considering yourself warned. I strapped myself down to a chair and forced myself to watch this. Then I went to the washroom and dug out all the ingrown hairs on my legs with extra sharp tweezers, picking at them like a junkie and his scabs. This is the effect of Emmy Rossum. Emmy Rossum is so f*cking revolting she makes you want to hurt yourself.

So…

She posted a new video of herself on YouTube. From that “album” she released a few months back, remember? The one that failed miserably?

Emmy claims she did this for “fun”. For her fans. Yes… it’s true. Some people are so sick in the head they actually care about the career of the Rossum. WTF???

Emmy’s message to them:

Just for fun, I made this video for you. It's not professional or anything, just me with a camera in my room. As you'll see, even my dog Sugar is in it -- he was pretty excited for his close-up. It was pretty fun making it by myself. I hope you like it or it makes you laugh.
Xx emmy.

She shot it by herself?

Really?

Is that why the lighting is perfect in every scene?

And the wind machine?

This sh*t that she just “made by herself in her bedroom” is slicker than some Canadian tv shows!

HER DOG’s NAME IS SUGAR!!!!

Anyway… suffer through Rossum’s operatic enunciation below. Try not to jump off your building afterwards.

And finally, a brand new round of Would You Rather!

Would you rather:

Be friends with Emmy Rossum or …install a f&ckin’ grill in your mouth like Brooke Hogan?

As always, WYR is the game of sh*t vs diarrhea. Choose wisely.