Zac Efron is in Australia. Something about a promotional appearance. He was photographed shooting some surf segment at Bondi Beach today, super cute in the water when he’s not posing and glossing his lips, showing a little personality. It also helps that in the water, he’s only shot from the waist up.

But soon as I can see his legs, whatever mild trace of attraction disappears. It’s the feet. And the way he stands, the way he walks, like his thighs are collapsing on top of each other trying to become one. It’s terribly unsexy. Like he’s on skates. Only on skates it’s ok because you’re on skates. Looking like you’re walking on skates when you’re not on skates is weird.

He does have the face of a figure skater, non? I could totally imagine him tonight throwing down an expressive short program with an intricate footwork section building to a dramatic conclusion and a fist in the air.

But seriously, can Plushenko really do it? Plushy’s theatricality is like Mimi Cheese for me. So it all begins tonight. And of course I’m rooting for Patrick Chan. The field is DEEP. Between Lambiel, Joubert, Lysacek, and several others, a win by Patrick would be considered a huge upset. GO PATRICK.

Photos from and