One Direction’s Louis Tomlinson and producer Naughty Boy, who’s working with Zayn Malik on some new music, got into a fight on Twitter. Louis thought Naughty Boy (do we have to call him this???) was disrespecting the band and the fans and Naughty Boy (who can take this name seriously?) was like, nah, man, you’re wrong. And then they swung their dicks at each other online a few more times until Naughty Boy (still doesn’t feel right) dropped a couple of minutes of Zayn’s new track, I Won’t Mind.

The specifics of the argument aren’t important. If you need them though, click here for the play-by-play. What’s most interesting is that Louis, who just broke up with his girlfriend amid his own cheating rumours, is being portrayed as the defender of One Direction, the keeper of the One Direction-ness. Because on top of his electronic spat with Naughty Boy (starting to feel gross now) for the honour of the 1D, they’re also saying that he was so loyal to the group that he turned down a coveted film opportunity because he didn’t want to disrupt One Direction’s tour schedule.

So now we have an angel (Louis) and a devil (Zayn). How dare he go off and record new music so soon when he said he couldn’t handle it anymore? Actually, what he said he couldn’t handle was being part of a 5 piece on that f-cking boy band grind. So he’s back at home? In a studio working on his own sound. Which Vanity Fair called “surprising” and “heartbreaking”.


I’m attaching I Won’t Mind below.

For me the only surprise and heartbreak happening here is that I can’t make out anything that he’s singing. Because he’s singing like Ariana Grande. You know how you don’t know what the f-ck she’s saying when she’s doing that sh-t with her voice? Same thing is happening here. Go on. Click play. And tell me what those words are before the chorus.