Zoe Saldana and Bradley Cooper broke up. Then in June they were maybe back together in New York as she was seen heading into his hotel and possibly hanging out with his ma. Click here  for a refresher. Last night they attended the LA premiere of The Words and posed for group photos side by side. So... does that mean they’re totally not together now? Because if they were together they wouldn’t stand with each other? I ...don’t actually know what I mean right now, or anymore, because Hollywood has f-cked me up with the business of ridiculous couple wrangling.

Let’s talk instead about what she’s wearing - Elie Saab doesn’t ever get me too hard, you know? - and why that chain is on her ankle. (Lorella, that one’s for you.)

Let’s also talk about what a great suit that is on him and his hair -- a few weeks ago I mentioned how he has good hair and then got shouted down by someone who was all like IT’S A HAIRPIECE...

What?

Really?

I’ve already shared with you my naiveté about hair, real or fake (click here for a refresher) so, sure, I acknowledge that I’m sh-t at this game but Coop? You think? I don’t think. I really don’t think. Do you think?