Am I supposed to picture her plucking the petals off of some flower, in a meadow, while her bike leans against a tree, as beams of sunlight filter through her eyelashes and her voice skips across the clouds, carried by the wind... is the picture Zooey Deschanel is conjuring?

Because all I want to do is punch the hipster who thinks this would be a good dress for a garden party in the middle of goddamn January as a scene in a screenplay called 10,000 Ways To Find Corduroy Annoying.

This is Zooey, ripping off Gwyneth Paltrow’s pink taffeta Oscar, adding a hint of red ribbon “whimsy” with a dash of Brooklyn - oh look, what a waste of a night when I could just be reading my book! - when the truth of the matter is that she’s now joined network television in a show called The New Girl debuting tomorrow night...on FOX!

An ironically ugly but not really prom dress doesn’t necessarily mean you’re one fist in the air and solid with the geeks. And while we’re at it, where are your dark-rimmed glasses??!!!

(That wraps up the Emmy Awards 2011. Loving your emails and analysis. Keep sending!)

Photos from Kevin Winter/