There are all kinds of headlines bouncing around about Angelina Jolie’s reaction to the revelation that Brad Pitt is dating Nicole Poturalski and took her to Chateau Miraval, where Angie nursed the twins after they were born and where they were married. The UK Mirror is claiming that Angelina is “furious” and “grossed out”. First of all, as if the UK Mirror is the authority on Angelina Jolie’s feelings. And second, that’s not Angelina’s clapback style. 

 

Her clapback style is all about assuming elevated territory. He can be riding his motorcycle around, encouraging speculation about Jennifer Aniston, doing his sculptures, and falling in love with younger models, while she’s over here dedicating herself to her kids and her causes. Like this: 

Angelina apparently heard about Ayaan Moosa and Mikaeel Ishaaq on the BBC. The two boys, who live in London, put up a lemonade stand in July to raise money for children in Yemen and have been widely praised in their local community. Angelina then reached out to Ayaan’s mother, Adeela, to find out more about the boys’ initiative and then she ended up sending over some treats and a donation. 

 

Hilariously when Adeela told the Ayaan and Mikaeel about it, they had no idea who Angelina was – look at them, they’re tiny, their whole world is probably Pokemon and Black Panther – so she watched Tomb Raider with them and Maleficent is next in the queue. Beyond that though, they’ll know her soon enough, especially when The Eternals comes out. Angelina got out of a marriage with Brad Pitt and went into a much more beneficial one with Disney. 

As for Brad… the stories circulating about Angelina’s mood certainly fit the narrative that he’s been exploiting since their breakup: that she was the difficult one, that she’s impossible, that she’s a vengeful bitch keeping him from his kids. And that’s why he had to go seek comfort with a gorgeous young woman and whisk her away to a French estate. Well sh-t, when you put it that way, can you blame him? What choice did he have, you know?