Please. Don’t think of that as a criticism. Petty is my default setting. So nobody here is complaining about the way Beyoncé and Jay-Z made their entrance last night to kick off On the Run II – coming down an elevator because… well… you know. “Of course sometimes sh-t go down, when it’s a billion dollars in an elevator. Goddamn, goddamn, GODDAMN!”

Where do we go next? The outfits? 

I have two favourites: first, the oversize Gucci hooded bomber jacket with the matching thigh-highs, custom, of course. 


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And the silver hoodied bomber – look at this amazingness!



And then of course there’s the selection of bodysuits and corsets and glitter jackets etc, all of them flawlessly tailored and built to move with her body and the wind machine. 

The show is two and a half hours. There are two runways, one for each Carter. There’s a scaffold backdrop for the band. There’s a floating stage which, probably, Kanye West will have something to say about. But mostly… there are videos, filmed footage specifically for this tour and also, naturally, personal videos direct from the Beyoncé Giselle Knowles Carter archive because she knows now that we live for these drops. If you’ve been to a Beyoncé show before, this is how she’s trained us – you can’t look down, not even for a second, especially not during the interludes. Because this is when we get the gold. 

When I sent the video below to Duana last night she cried and then she said she got pregnant: 

OMG Blue. I’m actually scared at how good Blue’s dancing is. And… did you see the twins!? Here they are, Rumi and Sir: 


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OK but how many vow renewals have there been. Or how many vow renewal outfits did she have? 


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What kind of formal education do I need to start on so that I can apply for the job of Head Librarian at the Beyoncé National Library when it opens?