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You know what totally rocks about being a rich, rich, rich celebrity? Private air. Chartered flights. I call it “fresh flying”. Take a look at Beyonce arriving at the airport in Nice yesterday for the Festival. Now tell me, have you ever looked this good, this FRESH, after 9 hours crammed in coach??? With all the blood congealing around your swollen ankles, puffy and booger-eyed, at once bloated from gas and dehydrated from lack of free flowing fluids??? Have you ever walked off a plane looking this cute??? These are the perks I want. Nevermind the million dollar paycheque or the free couture – I could live without. What I really, really covet is the ability to move around on a plane. To stretch out for a nap, take a friggin’ shower if I’m so inspired, get a massage, eat sushi, do some yoga, and pee without having to balance my trembling squat in a 2 x 2 black hole – all on someone else’s dime! Now THAT is something worth fighting for.

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