Disclaimer: This article was posted during an early period of the site when some of the writing was extremely offensive. Since then our site has grown and evolved. We have apologised, continue to take accountability, and documented our changes. Please see our FAQ on our About page for our formal statement.

I know she’s hard to handle. And she shouldn’t be taking credit for being a songwriter. But she’s my obsession. Can’t understand how someone moves like that. Have you ever tried? I tried last weekend. Coordinated flailing. It’s impossible. Like I’ve said though, I have perfected the Beyonce backwards wiggle and reveal.

Having said that, no matter how you feel about her, come on…her body in this suit this morning on the Today Show is ridiculous. Let’s call it contained jiggle. Because you know she has the curves and you know she works the Spanx – you can even see the line – and this must be why she’s been able to avoid the Camel Toe? I don’t see the Camel Toe…

No like real Camel Toe. Like humps, you know? Like mounds. I don’t see mounds. I see an unavoidable crinkle from the material, but there are no mounds. Could you avoid mounds in a spandex catsuit?

Photos from Wenn.com and Bauergriffinonline.com

Share this post