Some interesting headlines this week related to the British royal family. Let’s start with the Queen’s Commonwealth Trust. In the before times, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were the two heads of the QCT. When it was confirmed recently that they would not be resuming their roles as senior members of the royal family, they were not able to continue with the QCT. Last week it was reported that Nicola Brentnall, the CEO of the Queen’s Commonwealth Trust, has stepped down. Why? 


Well, the UK tabloids are spinning the story that Nicola was forced out because she was too much of a Sussex “cheerleader” with a source telling the Daily Mail that: 

“It’s fair to say that some important people felt it was better that she moved on. We are an organisation that’s meant to celebrate the Commonwealth yet she was letting, or even encouraging, Harry and Meghan to make it sound like we’re some backward movement stuck in a racist, colonial past.”

I mean…

Considering that citizens of a large majority of Commonwealth countries are Black, and what the origin of the Commonwealth was in the first place – which is basically England going around colonising people – some might say that having a leader of the Queen’s Commonwealth Trust, a white woman, who’s willing to acknowledge that, and talk about it, and have the difficult conversations, instead of wrapping herself up in white fragility, might actually be a good thing for the organisation; someone who can steer it forward to meet the moment. 


But then again, it’s not like the British royals have been known for making good decisions lately. Here’s another example of the kind of headline that isn’t a good look – apparently Prince William is no longer friends with journalist Tom Bradby of ITV and has “cut him off”. Tom interviewed Will and Kate when they got engaged. But he also interviewed Harry and Meghan during their trip to South Africa and he’s the one who asked Meghan if she was OK, which is when she thanked him for asking her because not many people have. And I think we all remember the drama that ensued afterwards. 

Will and Tom have known each other almost 20 years and the friendship has come to end, according to Dan Wootton, reporting for the Daily Mail now, because “among senior royal aides, there is growing anger at the way Bradby and ITV News seem to have become a mouthpiece for Harry and Meghan's gripes about the Royal Family”. A source tells Dan Wootton that: 

“The Duke feels let down by Bradby and the way he’s acted over the past few months. William is a sensitive soul and believes it’s in times of crisis when you find out who your true friends are. It would be fair to say Bradby hasn’t been one of them.”

Dan Wootton, you’ll recall, is the reporter who worked for the Sun and who broke the story that Harry and Meghan wanted to move to Canada. There have also been allegations that he paid the partner of one of William’s aides, Christian Jones, for scoops. Clearly Dan Wootton still has some deep insiders at Kensington Palace who are feeding him. And this time what he’s getting from KP is this story about how William broke up with Tom over Harry…which… good God… 



What professional public relations expert would cosign a story like this being made public about the future king of England getting into a “pick me or him!” situation with a friend like we’re in high school gym class, seriously!? 

Also this detail: 

“…among senior royal aides, there is growing anger at the way Bradby and ITV News seem to have become a mouthpiece for Harry and Meghan's gripes about the Royal Family”.

WHY? Why, if you are someone whose job it is to protect the reputation of Prince William, would you allow this to be made public?! Do you really want people to believe that “senior royal aides” have a say in the prince’s friends? Have a say in who he’s friends with? 

Like yeah, of course, it’s totally true. BUT WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE TELLING THIS TO A TABLOID!? 

How does it help the image of the royal heir?!?!?!? Especially the MODERN royal heir who is supposed to be with it and down with the times. What in Gen Z f-ck is going to be appealing about a future king who can’t be friends with someone unless his “senior royal aides” give him the all-clear?!

Christ, they are bad at this. 


And then there’s Piers Morgan, who this week claimed that he’s gotten calls from either the British royal family or people repping the British royal family expressing gratitude to him for sticking up for them. Which, like, nobody needs to blow any more air up his ass but if there was any doubt about who Piers was referring to… he posted this on Instagram, thirsty as f-ck: 

Look, Piers is gonna Piers. So this is not about him. This is about the royal brand. And specifically the Cambridge brand. On the one hand they’re supposed to be the example of British royal elegance, stoicism, class, and better than everyone. On the other hand they’re lowering themselves to the point where they’re thanking Piers f-cking Morgan?! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. 

How did it come to this? How did House Cambridge become associated with Piers Morgan, a British Donald Trump wannabe, standing outside their house posting a selfie like the ultimate stan?! And there’s been no official royal response to his claims: 

So basically they’ve backed themselves into a corner where they can’t even distance themselves from him. This is where we find the British royal family: in 2021, they can’t deny association with Piers Morgan, professional troll. Which means they are now associated with Piers Morgan, professional troll. Cambridge Morgan is the new Firm. Love live the monarchy, I guess.