Hot Ones, in general, is a good show. Sean Evans is a good interview, he asks good questions, and he gets good guests. Some episodes, however, are better than others. And of course that depends on the guest. When the guest is Cardi B… well… obviously it’s a standout. 


Because Cardi is always Cardi, even when the inside of her mouth isn’t getting scalded. But when you turn up the heat, literally, then you’re getting Cardi under duress. Cardi’s not trying to find a diplomatic way to talk about her discomfort. Cardi will always tell it like it is, even before it starts, which is when talks about the sh-t. Literally. The heat sh-ts. 

“I’m nervous because I’m setting myself up to have diarrhea so like I know what’s gonna happen later on.”

We all know this, right? I can handle a LOT of heat. Like I think I’d do really well on Hot Ones. But that doesn’t mean I don’t get the ring of fire. This is just how the body reacts sometimes. Not all the time but certain chilis, certain blends, they bring on a rumble in the jungle. So Cardi’s just putting the biology on the table right there. 


And when she finally does get going on the sauce, and she starts feeling the pain… 

“Ugh. Oh. She stink. OH MY GOD.”

LOL forever. “She stink”! 

Anyway, Cardi and Sean then get to talking about extraterrestrials. As expected, Cardi has thoughts: 

“So if aliens are real, and they’re smarter than us, right? I just feel like why they haven’t just invaded us? And then people is like, why would aliens want to invade earth, earth is ghetto, they probably so advanced, they probably think earth is small fry.”

I mean she’s not wrong. Earth is trash. Maybe that’s why they’ve left us alone. 


Anyway, the point is this is 15 minutes of Cardi be Cardi, and hot. And very, very pretty. Look how pretty she is even when she’s suffering!