What Else?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 26, 2017 19:36:57 May 26, 2017 19:36:57

Nicki Minaj’s hair is very, very long right now. I think a lot about growing my hair this long. I really want to. But it would be such a pain in the ass. Because it would get caught everywhere, on everything. Even in bed it can f-ck you up. When it’s long, sometimes one part of your body is lying on it and you have no idea, until you move your arm, and suddenly you just gave yourself whiplash. So I appreciate the aesthetic that Nicki’s going with right now… but it has to be impractical as f-ck. And probably heavy? At the Oscars, Jordy put a pack of extensions into my ponytail to break my extension virginity and she told me to pop two Advil before she started working on it. It’s like a brick on your neck. (Dlisted)

The three worst reasons to get married. And while I am married, I totally agree that if these are your reasons for getting married, maybe you shouldn’t get married. Especially #2. And, frankly, I know a lot of people who got married just so they could have a wedding. The thing is… you can kind of have a wedding even if you don’t get married “officially”. I also know several people who did that, white dress (sometimes even two) and all. There was a ceremony of sorts, to let people know how they felt about each other, but no paperwork. And they refer to each other as “partner” now. Next question though: if you are married, how soon can you have another wedding? Like what’s the earliest anniversary where you can do it all over again? Because I don’t think I like my wedding dress anymore and I want a new one. (Pajiba) 

Miley Cyrus performed a new song called Inspired on The Today Show this morning. She’s still wearing several shades of oatmeal and the song, well, maybe the studio version is better but, to me, it’s as oatmeal as Malibu. With maybe even worse lyrics. Like this: “I'm writing down my dreams/all I'd like to see/Starting with the bees/or else they're gonna die/There won't be no trees/or air for us to breathe/I'll start feeling mad/but then I feel inspired”. Sometimes the poems we wrote in grade school aren’t meant to become songs. Unless, of course, you grew up as Jenny Zhang. (Just Jared) 

The sunglasses of Cannes 2017. How many pairs of sunglasses do you have? I have 7. 4 of them are under $30. They’re kick around, I don’t care if they break sunglasses that I wear when I’m golfing. Then I have a mid-range pair, large and perfectly round, that are pretty specific in that they don’t go with everything or every occasion. The last two pairs are Tom Fords. I love Tom Ford sunglasses. One pair is a go-to, they work almost all the time and they don’t make a major statement. The other pair is for drama and they come out maybe twice a year and they’re part of the outfit. Maybe I’m overthinking this. (Go Fug Yourself) 

I don’t mind Gal Gadot’s dress at the Wonder Woman premiere last night. It’s the topknot that’s making me crazy. If you’re going to do a topknot, go for a proper topknot. Make it tight. Give it some shape. And pull all your hair back, do not come with this weak sh-t where the hair has a little volume on the top like you’re afraid of severity. There is nothing wrong with severity. Also, this isn’t even a topknot. It’s a roll. It’s hair that’s been rolled, pretending to be a topknot. And why do we need to leave the wisps of hair out by the ears like a security blanket?!  Why are we half-assing the topknot!?! (Cele|bitchy) 

YESSSSS Carly Rae Jepsen. YESSSS! Now this, THIS is a summer jam. A few years ago, Carly Rae Jepsen gave us Call Me Maybe. And it was the song of that summer. Now it’s Cut To The Feeling. And it is exactly a song you want for this time of year. Better than all three of Katy Perry’s new releases, better than any Ed Sheeran (please, as if this is even a conversation), and definitely better than whatever it is that Miley Cyrus is doing. I’ve listened to this four times. It gets better and better. (Buzzfeed) 
 


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