Smutty Social Media, April 2, 2018

The now-iconic photos of Ben Affleck on a beach were taken in Hawaii. Jennifer Garner is in Hawaii, reportedly visiting him with their children. There are no tingles to this story as we know that they are done. I’m more interested in her trainer, Simone of Body by Simone – a former instructor under Tracy Anderson. There has reportedly been some bad blood between the two women (Simone’s clientele is just as A-list as Tracy’s; in addition to Garner, she has trained Karlie Kloss and Taylor Swift). But you know who would be a real coup for her? Madonna.

 

There are two things I love about this clip: 1. JLo isn’t singing, because she knows she’s being filmed and she’s not about to have her voice picked apart on social media. 2. Leslie Jones keeps dancing even though JLo does the final pose, which is typically the end of a performance. Leslie is still moved by the music and the moment.

Justin Bieber would like to talk to you about his Lord and Saviour and also, why is a bunny hiding eggs?

 

 

Sometimes random debates flare up on Twitter – the most recent one was The Office vs. Parks and Rec. I like them both, but for very different reasons. But I do agree with this 2017 BuzzFeed piece that explored Jim’s dickish personality.

How many double dates and vacations do you think Leo, Toby, Jen and a rando model have gone on over the years? I wonder if she’s ever passionately explained what a rotary phone is to a bored Victoria’s Secret model. 

Miley sometimes does photo shoots around holidays and for Easter, Vogue picked up the “exclusive.” (How something that started on Instagram can be exclusive, I don’t know.) This is purely a vanity shoot, with Miley posing with eggs and in bunny ears. It’s pretty much what every Insta model and influencer did over the weekend. (Pastels. For Easter. Groundbreaking.) But I do think we need to pay closer attention to her overall aesthetic and tone (like getting spanked by a bunny and sticking her tongue out). She has said she is working on a new album. Will she continue on with the same musical sound and image as Younger Now, even though it didn’t come close to the success of Bangerz? Or will she go back to the hip-hop that she criticized last year, the one she claimed to have grown out of.

 It’s things like this that make me want to forgive Twitter all its sins.