Britney Spears is someone who always generates interest and I often get emails about her Instagram, particularly why I don’t cover it a lot. The reason is that, as a celebrity, Britney has given us enough. Her entire childhood, really. A lot of bangers. A classic teen love story. A redemption arc. We are not entitled to any more of Britney’s time or energy. With that being said, she is kind of having fun in quarantine (despite being separated from her boyfriend Sam; she had to self-isolate after traveling). This candle anecdote is an instant classic. It’s her storytelling that elevates it, the throwaway “one thing led to another.” We know we probably will never know the story of the candles that burnt down her home gym and that is OK – we should be happy with whatever she wants to give us.

 

Melrose Place is a show that’s always floated around in pop culture conversation (like Marcia Cross’s wig removal) and seems to be a popular self-isolation re-watch. The cast participated in Stars In The House and I love that there’s so many of them, they had to split it up. The main cast is mostly accounted for, including Heather Locklear, who looks great. This has also sent me down a Melrose Place rabbit hole and there’s so much good gossip, which I did not appreciate as a teen. So many cast members got married! And divorced! If that is what was happening on paper, can you imagine the antics behind the scenes? One couple from the group is still married. I had no idea! If you don’t know either, see if you can figure out who’s behind the mask.

This might be the first celebrities-wishing-other-celebrities “Happy Birthday” post that didn’t even include the person whose birthday it is. Did Amy Schumer just create a new standard? And don’t tell me she doesn’t have a picture with Seinfeld – at minimum, she could have used a shot from Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee

 

Billions premieres May 3, its fifth season. I am caught up and generally enjoy the show for what it is (ridiculous, but they commit to it). The actors definitely elevate the material. With so much uncertainty around production, it’s interesting that they didn’t push back the start date to summer, just in case they needed to fill in some gaps down the road. 

Analyzing celebrity social media posts is a big part of my job but sometimes even I’m surprised at the earnest self-absorption. And let me tell you, it’s never the most famous ones, it’s always the “I’ve seen her name in US Weekly” ones. Her whole “going grey is stoic” message is interesting as so many of us (me included!) are missing our aestheticians, people who work f-cking hard and have been hard hit. And who is to say that the “nurse, vet or store clerk” she refers to isn’t also waiting for the day they can get their hair done? The idea that women (and men) not being able to take care of themselves the way they usually do is sacrificing just vanity is what I’m rubbing up against. Sometimes that outside helps with what’s going on inside, be it a workout or a fresh cut. (I know Hilary Burton Morgan has stans and for those people, yes I know she sews masks for frontline workers.)

I meant to post this a few days ago. It’s better than the last five years of SNL. Sleepovers, margaritas, “Prince Charming,” the shaking hands – I insist you watch this, with the volume on.