Jennifer Garner and her kids watched The Office during quarantine and we’ve been doing the same in my house. The Office hasn’t given me the feels this way but there are episodes (like the Dundies and the dinner party at Michael and Jan’s) that I find funnier than when I originally watched them on TV. And also I have a whole new take on Jim and Pam on this second viewing. I dislike them immensely. 

Naomi Campbell is rumoured to keep a separate apartment for her fashion archives, which makes sense: she probably has thousands of designer pieces when you count shoes, jewellery, bags and scarves and to keep things pristine they need to be cleaned properly and held in a temperature-safe environment. No doubt she keeps her pieces from Alexander McQueen, Gianni Versace, and Alaïa safe because she views it as art, which it is. It’s living art and history and she sees her place in that. Something Naomi is also very good at is keeping photos of friends for birthdays – she never misses one. Sometimes it’s a celebrity and sometimes it’s a behind-the-scenes person who works in hair or makeup or at an atelier. The photos are always personal and rarely duplicated so I wonder who organizes her photo archive. When she says “get me the photo of me and Dave Chapelle and Janet Jackson” who pulls that up? There’s no way she’s scrolling through her phone for these, it would take forever. They must be labelled and kept somewhere for easy access. 

Queen Garcelle Beauvais has joined the panel of The Real just as this season of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is winding down. She’s had a stellar season and is a fan favourite so I wonder if she’s one and done. Usually the sophomore season for Real Housewives is brutal in terms of edit and alliances and Lisa Rinna (who has gone from kooky fun to Valerie Cherish levels of cringe) is pretty open about wanting to go after Garcelle next season, so why would she go through that? Garcelle can float off looking glorious and straight into a new gig (plus Coming to America 2!). She might pull off the perfect Housewives run – long enough to gain a new audience, short enough not to be f-cked over by Bravo.

The good people at Pajiba worked through the Jerry Falwell Jr. mess for us and, um, the pool boy Giancarlo?!! It’s like a plot out of an 80s movie, which is what Falwell is trying to turn it into. He claims it’s a Fatal Atttraction situation with said pool boy and his wife. I don’t believe Jerry for f-cking second and this has nothing to do with his sexual exploits; if Jerry Falwell Jr. wants to watch his wife get railed by the pool boy, that’s his business. But if he wants to cloak his bigotry against LGTBIA2S+ people in religion and actively work with young people as a harmful authority figure, then it’s our business. And if we are taking bets on who the bunny boiler is in that the throuple (Jerry, Giancarlo or the wife) all my money is on Jerry.