When this photo of Adele popped up in my feed, I thought “oh no” and I sent it to three of my friends. It’s not my business to have an opinion about whether or not bantu knots are cultural appropriation as I’m not Black or Jamaican. If you are not Black and feel the need to jump to Adele’s defense, sit with why that is. If you are white and have the urge to comment, just... don’t. Instead observe how 2020 brought together Adele, Chet Haze, and Brad Pitt in Meet Joe Black on Twitter. You know Ira Madison III was going to come through. 

 

OK this is a conversation white people can definitely weigh in on – Bon Eye-ver? Bon Eee-vair? I never know! Bonnie-ver? That can’t be right. I will never get this. 

Emma Roberts announced the sex of her baby and PEOPLE is covering it as a pregnancy announcement – didn’t we talk about this weeks ago? I guess this makes it official. And a rare Instagram sighting of Garret Hedlund whose hair is so long and kind of styled like a pompadour. 

I’m going to say something very controversial and I don’t want either side to get mad about it. Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber have the same bangs. Let’s put aside the petty squabbles and look at the evidence.

 

I try not to get into politics in this space, not because I don’t think it’s important but because I think we could all use a small mental break from it in this daily feature. If I started covering political social media that would be all I write about, but I also want to write about Machine Gun Kelly dicking down Megan Fox (more on that below). This tweet from Desus Nice is beyond politics. It’s art!

As mentioned above, Megan Fox is getting dicked down by Machine Gun Kelly right now but Brian Austin Green said he wouldn’t close the door on a reconciliation. Megan and MGK (please call me Machine Gun, Mr. Kelly is my father!) are filming a movie on location (with a quick VMAs break) and in the throes of a summer romance – will it survive the transition home? If it doesn’t, Brian sounds like he’ll be ready.

 

The couple equivalent of a Caesar salad bought at the airport, Julianne Hough and Brooks Laich are thinking  about getting back together and their people told PEOPLE

Have you seen this tanning salon sketch on TikTok? If you are over the age of 35, I know you’ve stepped buck naked into a bed and placed tiny goggles over your eyelids that in no way, shape, or form offered any protection. And who can forget the sheer terror and orange hue of their first spray tan? Today they are sophisticated and glowy but Gen X was the guinea pig generation and we had the streaky feet to prove it. If there was a woman working the counter, not only was she tanned, but she was usually coifed beyond belief with blonde streaks in her hair and a Playboy bunny-shaped outline on her chest (because they used to sell stickers to wear while tanning). Everything smelled vaguely tropical, but it was a scent not found in nature.  And as Chrissy Teigen pointed out, lotion was $95 and we just accepted that as reasonable.