Smutty Social Media, December 22, 2017

Maria Posted by Maria at December 22, 2017 17:21:52 December 22, 2017 17:21:52

I’m officially winding down for the holidays – this will be my last post for 2017. So I’ve been thinking about the celebrities who have been giving me gifts all year. Beyoncé gave us many visual gifts in 2017, from the February pregnancy announcement to her baby shower to Blue Ivy, along with fashion. All of the fashion. So many looks. Post-twins, Bey has been downright effusive in sharing her closet with us. 

 

A post shared by Beyoncé (@beyonce) on

Rita Ora has been the biggest “who?” in Whoville yet again – I still can’t name (let alone sing) one of her songs. So in that respect, many of us are ending 2017 the same way we started it. 

 

A post shared by Rita Ora (@ritaora) on

Jenny Slate is also taking a social media break for the holidays, but she is someone who has piqued my interest this year because it seems like she’s starting to toy with the gossip side of celebrity, at least when it comes to her relationship with Chris Evans.

 

A post shared by Jenny Slate (@jennyslate) on

Mindy Kaling has been a gift because she’s given us a lot, but not everything. And not the information some want most. In her latest post, she referenced her “busy week” (she had a baby) and shared a menu from a Nora Ephron-themed dinner party. 

 

A post shared by Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) on

The Rock is probably the celebrity I reference most here because he is an entertaining guy and I’m captivated by his workout (he travels with a full gym, starts the day at 4 a.m.), his schedule (he NEVER stops working) and his team (led by his ex-wife, Dany Garcia). And yet we know very little about The Rock’s inner life. Does he ever get the flu? What’s his biggest regret? Does he go to therapy? When was the last time he was able to do something normal, like grocery shop? If Barbara Walters was still working in primetime, she could bring him to tears in an interview real quick. “Tell me about your father, Dwayne.” 

 

A post shared by therock (@therock) on

 Chrissy Teigen continues to be a gem. Yes she’s great on Instagram, but I first fell in love with her on Twitter and it’s where, in my opinion, she continues to do her best work. 

Thank you for indulging my curiosity about why Oprah had an extra Thanksgiving turkey for her neighbor (I never did get a straight answer). Still, I don’t think I appreciated Oprah enough this year, particularly her abundant vegetable garden and Queen Sugar viewing parties. To quote Duana (via Twitter), "It's a fraud it's a fraud it's a FRAUUUUUD!!!’ How does this woman make criminal phishing activity entertaining? 'Jolly', even?”

 

A post shared by Oprah (@oprah) on

And of course my beloved Gallagher brothers, Liam and Noel (aka Potato). They have been lobbing insults at one another for a very long time – sell-out, wash-up, lunatic, cowardly lion, fake, starf-cker, hack. Noel hung out with Liam’s estranged daughter. He didn’t invite his brother to his cocaine-themed 50th birthday party. Liam made tea and called Noel a c-nt (several times). Noel had a scissors player at one of his shows and Liam took to Twitter to seek out a potato peeler. But then, just when it seemed like all hope was lost, a Christmas miracle. The Gallagher brothers are together again! (Or are they?)

 

Photos:
Instagram

Previous Article Next Article