Smutty Social Media, December 7, 2017

Billboard posted an interview with producer Walter Afanasieff, the co-producer on Mariah’s Merry Christmas album and the co-writer of All I Want for Christmas is You. It’s a super interesting read because it dives into the business of Christmas music. Everyone is trying to get a hit like All I Want for Christmas is You and despite the many albums that have come out since then, so few holiday pop songs stick. What’s also interesting is the business of how Mariah has nurtured and protected the song throughout the years, tying it closely to her image and thus, taking over Christmas itself. 

Two guys I hope never show their unsolicited penis to anyone. 

I read a story about how Meghan Markle has to curtsy to and who has to curtsy to her and all I could think of was Kitty Pong in Kevin Kwan’s Rich People Problems. And I don’t mean that in a bad way – I love Kitty Pong. I rooted for Kitty Pong.

Andy Cohen was voted Sexiest Hair in PEOPLE’s Sexiest Man Alive Issue. He said he has never coloured it, which I believe. But does he do a gloss or glaze?

I don’t think Madonna watches Game of Thrones; she often says she doesn’t watch a lot of TV. But I love that Theon Greyjoy told Brienne of Tarth get to chill. 

Nick Jonas loves finding his light in the most Kellan Lutz way.

A few weeks ago I wondered about American Housewife because Helen Hunt was directing an episode. A couple of people wrote in warning me not to watch it. I did not heed those warnings and I should have. It was awful. I can understand why skewering Pinterest-style idealism would seem like a funny idea on paper, but it’s void of any humour or satire. It’s one of the few shows I actually regret spending half an hour on.

OK but seriously… what’s a bitcoin.

“Snack size Denzel” hahahahahahahahahahahaha. (Also please don’t show your unsolicited penis to anyone, Kevin Hart and The Rock. I would be very disappointed.)