Drew Barrymore is a Chief Mom Officer for a new meat-free food company, Quorn USA. I’m going to ignore the twee title (celebrities can’t shill for a brand anymore unless they are a “partner” or have a title with a C in it) but I do want to talk about Drew’s rapidly expanding lifestyle portfolio. Sunglasses, skin care, makeup, hair care, furniture, books, kitchen appliances— is Drew trying to become a lifestyle billionaire? She has so many product lines with her name on it and a talk show (constant free press) and every week she seems to drop a new line. She’s built it all on being her brand of quirky and sweet redeemed child star, but don’t let her silliness fool you. Drew is working very hard. But is there a larger plan at hand, like some kind of licensing deal?

 

Well, we survived another Valentine’s Day online, a holiday people look forward to or despise. For celebrities, the tone this year was the usual mix of earnest and over-the-top attention seeking. One thing a certain type of person online will never give up is the need to show how subversive and above it they are with a caption like “this NERD is the worst and I HATE him so happy v-day or whatever.” That, to me, is trying way harder than a genuine post. Compare and contrast the two. 

 

This year, Offset went big for Cardi B. and has now created a very high standard for himself to meet year after year. Cardi reciprocated the love in a way only she can. 

 

For Mariah Carey, this is a relatively subdued celebration (particularly compared to her signature holiday, Christmas). But what is the balloon budget for her house? I don’t mean she has a budget, I just mean what does she spend each year. Does her business manager have a separate item line for “balloon arches” on her expenses sheet?

 

Garcelle Beauvais is 55 years old and has been a working actress for decades. Most careers get to a point where they need a jump-start and she got it via Real Housewives. Since joining the show, she has become a talk show host on The Real, gets endless amounts of positive press coverage, and has straddled the line between being a proper celebrity and reality TV star. Usually, when an actress joins (like Denise Richards or Lisa Rinna) it helps them get more press, but it doesn’t translate into more acting work. Garcelle is booked and busy (she often misses events because she’s working) and has parlayed her popularity into a first look deal at NBC. If she gets out before the audience turns on her (because audiences always turn), she needs to do it soon. Real Housewives of Beverly Hills just wrapped, so she might have already filmed her last season. She’s always been too good for it, both as a person and as a celebrity, and the longer a woman stays on the show, the more likely it is the persona they play starts to overtake who they are in real life. People lose sight of the game. I don’t want that for her! She’s done her job well and I hope she gets out. I would like her to be one of the rare people who uses the platform but isn’t beholden to that very specific type of Bravo fame.