Smutty Social Media, July 4, 2018

Maria Posted by Maria at July 4, 2018 18:40:49 July 4, 2018 18:40:49

Do you know what today is? Yes it’s Independence Day in the US, but do you know what today is? The Beckhams’ 19th wedding anniversary! I, of course, have been watching very closely at what is (at the time of this writing) about 3pm. London time. The World Cup is messing up my analysis because, as Lainey explained to me, the whole of the United Kingdom spent last night invested in one thing and one thing only, especially David, who had a viewing party. Here is what I do know: the children gave them balloons. David’s mum and sister sent flowers (which means his family is still invested – a great sign, no?). David and Victoria attended Harper’s Sports Day. Victoria received flowers. This will not sustain me. 

 

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Interesting snack selection by Jonah here – peanut butter (2 jars), two mozzarella sticks (I think?) and Diet Caffeine Free Coke. Also some kind of dip, so I’m assuming he had to grab chips, too. What are you going to do with a tub of dip and no chips?

 

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I’m very bad at putting together celebrity family connections. For example, it took me forever to realize that Lea Thompson is Zoey Deutch’s mom. So did everyone know Daphne Oz is Dr. Oz’s daughter? Because I didn’t. I emailed a friend to ask and she said, and I quote, “Uh of course I know.” I’m a dumbass then. Fine.

 

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Is there such a thing as a bad picture of a koala bear? Of course not, just like there is no such thing as a bad panda video. They are nature’s supermodels.

 

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Halsey and G-Eazy have split. The statement says “taking time apart” but the photo caption means “I blocked you from my phone, bitch.”

 

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Since Chris Pratt and Katherine Schwarzenegger are still into each other, I am keeping an eye on her Instagram. Here she is playing with some goats. Chris recently posted a photo of sheep. Can goats and sheep co-exist on a farm? 

 

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The “OG Tahani” comparison made me laugh, so I had to look up the article, which was just some quotes from an Allure interview. Priyanka was once Miss World so I don’t know if her beauty is breaking news. Tahani is amazing, so this is very much a compliment from Jameela.
 

 

Photos:
Instagram

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