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Smutty Social Media, June 28, 2017

Maria Posted by Maria at June 28, 2017 18:19:00 June 28, 2017 18:19:00

2017 has gotten the lifestyle site it deserves – Lindsay Lohan’s Preemium, a subscription service that will offer her personal diaries and photos, beauty and lifestyle tutorials and shopping guides. I have so many questions. Will Dina Lohan have an advice column? Who funded this (and how long until they sue Lindsay, or vice versa)? Will elocution lessons be offered? It costs $2.99 a month, in human dollars. I’m almost curious enough to sign up but I’m worried my credit card number will be stolen.


If Michelle Rodriguez and The Rock team up, Vin Diesel will have a mutiny on his hands. (Also, I have to mention this every time I bring up Vin Diesel: for years I thought xXx and the Fast franchise were the same thing. Yes I’m a dum dum.)


First off, that’s an alias; he keeps a stash of passports and money under his crib just in case he needs to disappear. Second, he immediately assassinated the doctor (who was part of some shadowy underground criminal element – details are scarce). “I've swallowed enough microchips and sh-t them back out again to make a computer. This arm has been ripped off completely and re-attached with *this* f-ckin' arm.”

 

Our little man arrived! Jack Oscar Statham - 8.8lbs on Saturday June 24th. πŸ‘ΌπŸΌβ€οΈ

A post shared by Rosie HW (@rosiehw) on


Annabelle Wallis wants you to know she and Chris Martin are still together. Because it’s not like Chris Martin would openly cheat, he hasn’t done that before, has he? Remember when he threatened to sue Star Magazine for reporting that he brazenly made out with Kate Bosworth while he was married to GP? Hmmm, whatever happened to that lawsuit. (Nothing, because he didn’t follow through on his threat.)


Rebel Wilson x Angels is launching – size 14-24, price range $49-$298. As I wrote about a few weeks back, she won her lawsuit against Bauer but now has to recalibrate because she lost two big jobs. She is back to auditioning. But clothing (and shoes, hair care, makeup) – is that the new Plan B? Not just for Wilson, but for so many of them that live in between a powerhouse and a reality star.

 

Pumped for the launch party tonight of REBEL WILSON x ANGELS #StyleHasNoSize

A post shared by Rebel Wilson (@rebelwilson) on


Nothing says how “weird” you think pap shots are quite like posting them on your own social media feed.


“Torch your bra” is a great sentiment, in theory. I wish I could go braless. Rachel Bloom has explained it best.

 

on it

A post shared by Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) on


 

The show of one million bras. #Repost @melinarootcostumedesigner ・・・ Back to business on season 3

A post shared by Rachel Bloom (@racheldoesstuff) on



Photos:
Bryan Bedder/ Getty Images
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