Maria is travelling today so you get me instead but I just have to share with you how she texted me about it:

“Hey, I have a flight tomorrow that got changed to early morning, can you take over CSM? Just photoshop me out no one will notice.”

DEAD. 

 

As for where she’s going, it’s a witness protection program because all the Meghan Markle fans are mad at her for her hilarious post on Friday. Anyway, here’s what Maria’s missing today and she’s going to be sorry because while this is what’s happening that’s NOT a royal mess: 

Two Irish people, Ayo Edebiri and Paul Mescal, spent St Patrick’s Day together and the internet was already clamouring for a rom-com and this has just intensified that thirst. From Ayo’s IG stories: 

 

But then Emily Henry reposted the photo and, well, BookTok went off and now everyone is convinced that they’re going to be in Beach Read. I will also jump on this train. 

 

The NAACP Image Awards happened this weekend and Fantasia was named Outstanding Actress in a Motion Picture for her wonderful work in The Colour Purple. You can see her speech here. Her outfit also deserves an award – all her outfits this award season, actually. Look at how beautifully this dress fits her, and the sequined opera gloves that look like a bow from the back are amazing. 

Credit once again to her stylist, Daniel Hawkins, who I hope is finally getting his flowers. And he’s wearing the sh-t out of his own fit too.

 

Speaking out outfit details though, Bruno Mars posted this photo of himself on the weekend in a cowboy hat wearing a “B” belt. 

“B” is for Bruno but also for “Beyoncé” and… well… I mean this can’t just be a coincidence, can it? 

 

That said, this isn’t the only reason Bruno was trending. He’s allegedly in a huge amount of gambling debt. Bruno has spoken quite openly in the past about playing cards, about how he used to make rent on the casino tables. Neither he nor MGM are responding to the rumour but he’s doing several shows in Asia in the next few weeks before he resumes his residency in June, and if these reports are true, he’s probably adding a LOT more dates. 

Back the royal f-ckery though, there’s a clip from the end of The Crown that’s been circulating for days on social media that seems prophetic in light of recent events. Here it is if you haven’t seen it yet. 

 

And finally, some BTS updates because their fans, for a few hours, actually managed to drown out the royal mess on Twitter the other day after Jungkook posted a message on Weverse.

 

Hilariously, at least to me, this resulted in the reuse of the video Kathleen took of Emma Stone at the Oscars. 

It makes me sad our girl is not getting her paper for this!

And finally, I mentioned on Friday that V released a new song and video called “FRI(END)S” and since he’s serving military duty, his friends have stepped up to help promote it. A reaction video dropped today featuring three of his besties from the Wooga Squad: Choi Woo Shik, Park Hyung Sik, and Park Seo Jun apparently filmed this in V’s apartment. All three of them are big celebrities in their own right. And two out of the three appear to be wearing their hair styled in the way we mostly associate with V, and they actually talk about his hair in the opening moments of the video. I giggled, like the pathetic fangirl that I am. And then I remembered I have not hit play on Park Hyung Sik’s new drama, Doctor Slump, that is currently on Netflix. Probably should get on that soon.