CinemaCon drags on, or is it just this week? Yesterday, Paramount held their panel, which is a little weird given that that the studio is currently for sale and several board members are stepping down as the company is engaged in talks with David Ellison’s Skydance for a sale (though the shareholders are reportedly not happy with the offer). This led to Paramount CEO Brian Robbins making a Kickstarter joke at CinemaCon. YEEEESH

 

Anyway, Chris Hemsworth is making a run at the Mr. Hollywood title, following his appearance on behalf of Furiosa with an appearance alongside Brian Tyree Henry for Transformers One, an animated prequel for the Transformers franchise. Hemsworth is voicing Optimus Prime, Henry is voicing Megatron, and Scarlett Johansson is voicing Elita-1. That might as well happen.

 

Also at the Paramount panel were Lupita Nyong’o, also doing double-duty this year and wearing an outstanding white suit, and Joseph Quinn for A Quiet Place: Day One (Quinn received the Breakthrough Performer of the Year award). There was also a presentation for Gladiator II, though Paul Mescal was not on hand. Weirdly, though Joseph Quinn is in the movie, he didn’t appear on stage for it. Strange decisions! 

Disney and Marvel also had their panel yesterday. Dwayne Johnson turned out for Moana 2, Shawn Levy for Deadpool & Wolverine, Barry Jenkins for his Lion King prequel, and Amy Poehler for Inside Out 2. But all the big headlines went to Kevin Feige and Anthony Mackie, who presented the first footage from Captain America: Brave New World. The footage wasn’t made available online, but Entertainment Weekly has some first-look images. Apparently, Sam Wilson is tasked with rebuilding the Avengers by President Harrison Ford and asks what happens if they disagree. Questions Steve Rogers should have been asking, quite frankly! 

 

CinemaCon is such a weird event, somehow all the hype and none of the fun of Comic Con, and now more than ever, it feels like rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. Every year the theater owners get together and you know what they never do? Talk about making movie theaters better. They never f-cking mention that. It’s basically a yearly event saying—here’s all the cool movies you can come see in our theaters that will be badly projected with terrible sound in dirty theaters with impossibly long concession lines! Just once I’d like someone to stand on that stage and talk about a commitment to the audience experience. Just ONCE.