Almost exactly two years ago, Colin Farrell was papped for the first time with his then new girlfriend. Two years later, she’s still his girlfriend…and we still don’t know her name. Like, she’s still referred to as a “mystery woman”. I’ve asked this before and I’ll ask it again – is it because we don’t care enough to find out her name? Because you know how people are on social media. If the entertainment outlets haven’t done it, some fan with a lot of time is trawling Twitter and Facebook and Instagram and getting to the bottom of it. 

He did talk about his girlfriend with Ellen DeGeneres recently though. I’ve attached the video below. Still, no name. 

Here they are having lunch in LA yesterday. And at some point Colin got a parking ticket. Which, even though he’s a beautiful Hollywood star, his reaction to getting a parking ticket is “just like us”. Awww, man, really! Come ON!

It’s not like he can’t afford to the pay the ticket. For many people, yes, it is about the money. I get that. But there’s also an added element to parking tickets, beyond the financial hit, that makes us crazy. I get parking tickets all the time. Most of the time it’s my fault. You can yell me about this, I don’t care. I pay them and the way I’ve rationalised it in my head it’s that I’m contributing to city works and helping the city budget. This is a major source of tension in our marriage because Jacek never gets parking tickets, he considers it irresponsible, and we fight all the time about all the money I’m wasting. That said, I did just fight a ticket last year and he actually supported me. This is what happened: 


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Put your hand down if you’re a math genius and you’re about to leave a comment on there all like, what’s the problem, I understood this immediately. I’m happy for you. I, however, am not here to stand on a curb trying to compute all of those equations when all I want to do is park my car for an hour and go get some sh-t done. Just tell me, can I park here or not? One line. Yes or no. WHY ARE THERE TEN THOUSAND SIGNS AND LINES!?

Look at Colin Farrell’s hair. Look at the level of frustration in that hair. This is what happens when parking is physics.