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I’ve heard some f-cked up civilian dinner stories. Like real people acting like assholes over steak. And what bites my ass so hard is that I’m not allowed to share most of them. You wouldn’t believe the way some people behave. So in that respect, in comparison, I guess the way Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes entertain at dinner well it’s not quite as eyerolling as the real people I’ve encountered, but at the same time, as always, they do bring the fontrum. 

So David Beckham was on the George Lopez show last night and he recounted a time when he and Posh went out with the Cruises and instead of eating, they decided to serenade each other instead:

"We were at dinner once with Tom and Katie ... and we sat there and everyone was like, 'OK, let's play a music game, let's start a singing game. (Singing in public) is my worst nightmare!"

Yes, David. Singing in public IN A RESTAURANT AT DINNER is everyone’s worst nightmare.

What?

Why?

How does this happen?

Oh, great, here comes the salad. Let’s bust into song. 

Tom Cruise wants to be Hugh Jackman so badly.

Also…Tom is totally jumpy clapping today. Because in the same interview Becks also said that Tom “is one of the most handsome men I've ever met." Now he's picking out colours for their imaginary sing-a-long wedding to be interpreted on Season 4 of Glee with Kurt in the role of the vertically challenged dermalogically perfect superstar who finds his true love after switching from football and Finn to soccer and the sexiest fauxhawk ever. Puck?!?!? 

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