Duana-
HELP! I'm 35 weeks this weekend with our first baby girl and I'm second-guessing not so privately but definitely solo on our choice.
My husband and I spoke before getting pregnant about loving the name Winnie. It took us a while to have a successful pregnancy and a close friend was even considering the name and I was secretly crushed although I truly believe no one "owns" a name. When we found out we were having a girl, it seemed kind of like a duh that it would be her name.
But now, and honestly, for the past 15 weeks, I've been asking myself if I have it right. My husband kind of sloughs off any inquiry into if the name is what we should be going for, stating that he doesn't want to second guess it. I will also say he is devoted to calling her Winnie but her name will be Wynn and I plan on calling her that often. When I tell him this he seems disappointed I will be calling her Wynn but lets it go. For me I just want her to have a name that she likes and I don't want to be making a mistake. My name is Erin and it's just so boring and I've always thought of it as meh!
Now, I'm torn- do I bring it up again (for like the 4th time)? Are there names I'm not thinking of? Another one I like is Niya. We are an interracial couple, Indian and white and Niya plays a bit to the Hindu side.
Help! Put my mind at ease, offer suggestions, anything!
Your time is appreciated!
E
Here’s what’s fascinating about this email – I feel as though I’ve gotten this question before, but not necessarily had this reaction in the same way…
You’ve loved Winnie, and he’s loved Winnie, all this time, and you both agree her formal name will be Wynn, right? And so the question of whether this is the perfect name is due to the fact that your husband seems disappointed that you’re going to plan to use her ‘formal’ name?
If that’s the case, then this isn’t a name issue – it’s a marriage issue. You know? I mean, I’m mostly joking, but I think that if it’s about whether or not she’s going to be called mostly by her nickname, versus her full name: you’re still both on the same page, just with… different decorations, so to speak. And as a result, the idea of what she’s called, and which of many nicknames (which will inevitably develop) you’re going to use when is going to be an ongoing conversation. Because as she becomes more and more of a real-life person in your lives, you’re going to have many, many differences of perspective, but it doesn’t mean either of those decisions is wrong.
Okay, marriage counselling over, and I know you didn’t ask. If I really thought you had issues with Winnie or Wynn, I’d indulge you and make a bunch of alternate suggestions – I think Niya is beautiful (and more or less an anagram of Wynn/Winnie) but I don’t actually think you want something else, and I don’t think you should confuse yourself looking for it. What I would suggest, if you wanted to, is that you could choose something like Winona or Winnifred, so that neither of you is sort of superseding the other by choosing to use her ‘nickname’ over her full name but I do love the simplicity and beauty of ‘Wynn’, so I’m not going to work too hard to talk you out of it.
I can’t wait to hear how this goes, except if you wind up calling her, like, ‘Darcy’, I might be a bit surprised.
Let us know!
