There were a number of people at the Oscars last night for the first time as presenters or nominees or both. What’s the strategy? Do you remember the first time Emma Stone was at the Oscars? She co-presented with Ben Stiller. She was one of the best presenters of the night. And she was one of the best dressed of the night. You may not be able to pull the dress off the top of your head right away but when I show it to you, you’ll know it right away. This one:

Emma Stone 2012 Oscars

That’s a statement. Yes, it was similar to a dress that Nicole Kidman had worn a few years before but it doesn’t make it any less of a move. You’re 21 years old. You’ve been invited by the Academy. You have some serious work coming out that will put you onto the next level in the industry. You pick a dress that lets them know you’ll be back. Five years later, you’re the one holding the Oscar in your hand, being crowned the Best Actress.

Keep that in mind as you consider Eiza Gonzalez last night at her first Oscars, presenting with Ansel Elgort and representing Baby Driver. This, too, is a statement dress. It’s a statement colour. You could not miss this colour. Wherever she was, you were looking at Eiza. And the cut of the dress, goddamn. It reminded me immediately of Jennifer Lawrence’s first Oscar dress, the red Baywatch dress, Calvin Klein, also a statement dress.

Clearly, then, Eiza’s dress was chosen not just because she looks banging in it but because that’s what a great first Oscar dress can do to complement the work. I’m curious to know, if we pitch forward 2 or 3 years, what we’ll be saying about Eiza, and the kinds of projects she’ll be involved in. 

Eiza is reportedly dating Josh Duhamel. I forgot about this until 10 minutes ago. Because it’s Josh Duhamel. And because I saw her last night, standing next to Garrett Hedlund on the carpet, and he lifted his hand to her face to brush off an eyelash or a piece of lint. My mind immediately went to sex things. These two would be EXPLOSIVE together, at least in my mind. I didn’t see them together on the carpet afterwards though, not on the carpet or at Vanity Fair. So I guess it really was a thoughtful, friendly gesture…and nothing more. But if they wanted it to be, I’d be down. Not that it’s any of my goddamn business.