Would it shock me to tell you that Emily Ratajkowski wore a naked dress? That Kim K. cinched her waist? Jennifer Lopez wore a metallic dress? No, of course not. These are all signature looks that they pulled out for Fashion’s Biggest Night. Sigh. 

 

EmRata’s “barely there” look is metallic florals, 2001 Versace. Mildly on theme, so she’s kicking it off. But more than the MET Gala theme it is her theme. I searched for her name + “nude dress” and multiple red carpets came up with some version of a slinky gown. While this specific dress is incredible in the artistry and construction, it looks drab here. Maybe it’s the styling but it’s got no pop, no sparkle, no verve. She doesn’t look excited to be wearing it which makes it seem flat. 

 

Next up is Kim Kardashian, who proves once again she can cinch her waist to the extreme and probably gets really bad tummy aches. I do like the styling with the sweater and it’s Margiela by John Galliano (yesterday, Lainey mentioned that Anna Wintour originally wanted to honour Galliano but it was too controversial). It’s a huge deal for Kim to wear a Galliano gown and certainly says something about where she stands in the fashion world but the cinched waist again? Kimberly, it’s time to breathe without pain. 

 

I feel like all of this is just covert marketing for SKIMS.

 

Then there’s Jennifer Lopez, a co-chair of this year’s MET Gala. Despite the internet’s best attempts, I am not a JLo hater. I am a JLo lover! She’s a regular but not someone I get excited to see (my favourite was her 2021 Ralph Lauren look with the cowgirl hat) because more often than not, her style is predictable. Maybe it’s because she does soooooooo many red carpets and has been famous for so long, but I find her impactful looks fewer and further between. This year’s MET Gala look is Schiaparelli couture and the construction and artistry are exquisite. So why is the look so ordinary? It’s because we’ve seen something similar on her multiple times over the years.

 

The glow has worked for JLo for decades and it still does! She looks beautiful, that’s not in question. The question is for this specific event, could she go outside of herself and try for something ethereal, the timeless sleeping beauty, instead of falling back onto metallic bodycon, what else could she have shown us?

All three of these women have the utmost access to designers and stylists and they choose naked, cinched, and sparkly. It’s not a misstep, it’s a pattern. They’ve put themselves in a sexy box and can’t—or don’t want to—step out of it.