If one wonky thing happens to me in a day, I barely notice. If there are three – an annoying work call, a gross lunch, and a traffic jam, I might feel entitled to grump around for 15 minutes when I get home, even though what I just described is basically called ‘you have a ridiculously sweet life, shut up.’
But if there are substantially more moments than that in a short period of time, I might justifiably consider myself to have had a bit of a bad day, and I have to wonder how many things Emma Stone has on her list from last night.
I imagined the title above with a dual meaning, because I thought her outfit was very clearly saying, ‘It’s not about me, guys.’ Even earlier in the award show season when Emma was nominated for Battle Of The Sexes, she seemed to be hanging back, knowing that after all the attention she got last year, it wasn’t her turn. Right? Maybe?
If that’s what it was though, the outfit stepped too far down the casual scale, from ‘not about me tonight’ to ‘going to an event after Dale from Marketing gives his presentation so I’m wearing my fancy blouse’. It’s the mismatch of the jacket and pants that takes this to an un-special place; like everyone else banging out words on the topic today, I liked the pink-on-red colour combination, and I could have almost overlooked the fabric if the black pants weren’t there, reminding us all of our after school jobs at the coffee shop that required ‘black slacks – NOT jeans’.
If it was just that, it would be one thing. But there’s also this moment, where Jimmy Kimmel gets off his first ‘2017 Oscar mishap’ joke and Jennifer Lawrence mocks Emma Stone:
Of course she knows enough to laugh at herself, but as we’ve learned over the past week or so, what was memorable for us still stings for a lot of them. And before everything was all sorted out, Emma Stone implied that Warren Beatty was not telling the truth about having the Best Actress envelope, not knowing there was another one. So she’s obviously trying to be a good sport, but it looks like it stings.
Then she presents the best director award, saying, “These four men, and Greta Gerwig” – not unlike Natalie Portman naming the ‘all male nominees’ at the Golden Globes. But while Natalie got mild pushback from people for stating a fact – the nominees were, in fact, all male – Emma Stone seems to give one nominee preference over the other four, who don’t get their names read aloud, and the reaction online has ranged for saying it was a misstep to calling it performative wokeness.
Which brings us to the Vanity Fair party, where Emma Stone continues to remind us that, accidentally or on purpose, it’s not her night.
Emma Stone is a striking woman, and she hasn’t played a high school student in a long time, but this dress seems determined to lie to us on both counts. I just… don’t know what the thought is on this choice? Like, is this what she would prefer left to her own devices, and we just always see her in service of something? Or is it more of the ‘don’t look at me, it’s not about me’ vibe I keep thinking I can’t shake off?
On a human level, I hope I’m wrong and Emma Stone had a great night and felt fabulous in everything she wore. But it stands to reason that someone might have a not-great Oscar night sooner or later – besides Armie Hammer, that is. Which, if that’s the case, happens to the best of us.