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Did I enjoy writing that? You bet your boob job I did. Eva Longoria arrived on the red carpet expecting people to fall all over themselves and anoint her as the one to beat. Unfortunately, she grossly miscalculated. First – the ghetto weave. That thing was barely a step up from Beyonce. Wrong, wrong, wrong. And then the dress – red and tight. So what??? But the kicker for me had to be the makeup. Big mistake. Colossal mistake. Because the girl cannot pull off pale lips with a mystic tan. Just another reason why Desperate Housewives will be the best this girl can ever get.

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