As soon as the Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux separation announcement came out late yesterday, the gossip world immediately went to Brad Pitt and how he and Jen are both single again at the same time. And everyone’s hoping for a sequel.

Nostalgia is having a moment right now. Stranger Things, Will & Grace, Roseanne, Magnum PI is on its way back. See also Kanye West’s Valentine’s Instagram. Many people are nostalgic for Brad and Jen. And this week especially, when sh-t is f-cked up yet again, when sh-t’s been f-cked up so much for the last two interminable years, that kind of golden Hollywood couple nostalgia is irresistible. 

But is it possible? 

I mean…suuuuuuure. For our sakes, for the sake of great gossip, to extend the story of the Triangle and actually cement it forever and ever in history (because there are children involved now, so if they get back together, Angelina will ALWAYS be in the picture), we want it, of course we do. But we’re the observers. We’re the audience. I don’t know if it feels that way if you’re one of the actors. If you’re one of the corners of this triangle, in the Jennifer Aniston corner, and you’ve had to move past a decade of headlines about being cheated on and or not cheated on and the fact that the other woman is one of the few women in the world more famous than you are, Jesus, can you move past that….and then GO BACK?

Yes! Do it for the gossip culture!

Well but remember, Jennifer Aniston claims to be against gossip culture. Her crusade against gossip culture was even PART OF HER SEPARATION STATEMENT. If she and Brad Pitt get back together? Gossip culture will have enough fuel to outlast the sun. 

Think of the storylines. Every time Brad gets visitation with the kids, at least one of them will look at her with a face that’s the spitting image of their mother. Angelina Jolie’s mouth will be at every family dinner that Brad and Jen host at their place, if they can agree on the furniture. (You’ll recall, after they broke up, she said that one of the side benefits was being able to sit on a comfortable couches instead of the impractical art pieces that Brad favoured.) Never mind the fact that those children were conceived at the expense of her heart.

This is a reality that many non-celebrity families have been living and many of those families are managing it without drama. That said, it isn’t without drama. And gossip culture certainly loves a drama and a family saga. Because, as you know, gossip is a reflection of who we are, it’s a lens through which we process and communicate our cultural values, our morality, our aspirations, our disappointments. The Jennifer Aniston, Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt triangle has already given us a thousand conversations about ourselves. If Jen and Brad do this again, it will give us a thousand more. Although…since Jennifer Aniston is ostensibly SO against the gossip industry, she would never, ever, right?