Netflix’s “Tudum” preview continues with a new teaser for Stranger Things season four, which is now titled Stranger Things 4 in the style of a movie franchise. The teaser shows off the “Creel House”, an obviously haunted Victorian mansion in the woods. It’s my dream home! When can I move in? I promise not to kick out any of the ghosts, and I find ticking clocks soothing, so I’ll leave that portal to hell grandfather clock alone and go to sleep every night to the relaxing sounds of its demon ticking. The only thing that will have to go are the old timey dolls. Sorry to the souls undoubtedly trapped within, but I draw the line at old timey dolls. Haunted board games, clocks that are also portals to other dimensions, old steamer trunks that contain only perfectly preserved wedding dresses, these are all fine. Old timey dolls, though, are a no.
This teaser reminds me that after season one ended with a satisfying conclusion that (mostly) tied everything together, I hoped Stranger Things would become an anthology series. I was hoping each season would be a different story, maybe set within the same world as Hawkins, Indiana, but exploring different aspects of “the Upside Down” and the supernatural possibilities of such a place. It did not become an anthology, though, Stranger Things is heavily serialized, and honestly, it’s very silly because of it. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy this show, but it’s about nothing. If it’s just going to be all style, no substance, then by all means, throw in a haunted house mystery. I hope the entire season is about this house and what horrendous murders have occurred within its walls over the years. I do not care about Hopper’s fate, or the Cold War spy nonsense from last season, just give me Steve Harrington and his feral children exploring a local haunted house. Maybe they can free the souls trapped inside the old timey dolls.