Following the success of It, Castle Rock, and to a lesser extent Gerald’s Game—and totally ignoring The Dark Tower—the Stephen King resurgence continues with a new adaptation of Pet Sematary, aka That Movie That Made You Afraid of Cats. Pet Sematary is not my favorite Stephen King movie because it is BLATANT, ANTI-CAT PROPAGANDA and we don’t stand for that in my house. The trailer for the new adaptation makes sure to show a creepy, malcontented cat staring down the audience, which all but guarantees an anti-cat bias with viewers. Meanwhile, the REAL villains of Pet Sematary are emotionally weak parents who can’t tell their kids the truth about how their beloved cat, Church, died. Church didn’t ask to be evil! Church is only evil because of dad!
This may or may not have something to do with my latent trauma from learning the truth of what happened to my first dog during the holidays, when all the most horrible family secrets come out, but I definitely remember being annoyed with Pet Sematary as a kid because everything was the parents’ fault and poor Church got a really bad deal. It doesn’t look like he gets a better one in the new version, as he’s all mangy and possessed-looking. So DUMB DAD is up to his OLD TRICKS making the DEAD CAT BE EVIL. Stop it, dumb Dad! Listen to your weird old neighbor and LEAVE CHURCH ALONE. #JusticeForChurch
I’m not crazy about the jump scare at the top of the trailer, but overall I do like the look of the new Pet Sematary, cat-prejudicing plot point aside. I don’t know what Jason Clarke’s accent is supposed to be, but John Lithgow is always solid. And I really dig those kids in animal masks having a funeral procession in the woods. This is giving me ideas for a birthday party theme, something like, Wes Anderson by Way of the Addams Family. The directors, Kevin Kölsch and Dennis Widmeyer, previously made Starry Eyes, an effectively creepy and kind of gross body-horror flick with a Satanic flavor, which bodes well for their treatment of Pet Sematary. I’m into this, even if I am forever salty about poor Church.