How do they do that? How do they make what could easily veer into cheesy couple’s costume territory look so dramatically badass? 

Look at these two. Just please experience Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade right now…

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I don’t have enough knowledge of various Catholic orders to have the exact words for what they’re wearing, but together, his hood and her… what is that, a wimple? A wrap? BET.com called it a swim cap, so sure, let’s go with that. They look like renegades from a futuristic community who have had to go dark to escape some nefarious overlord in their previously peaceful community and remade their outfits to reflect their new affiliations, like in Captain Marvel. And – it cannot be overstated here – they are literally dripping in diamonds. 

The only problem, if there is one, with these amazing headpieces is that you have to drag your eyes away from them to see the other amazing details on these outfits – I mean, fine, mostly on hers. She’s got that barely-there woven bejeweled cape, gold tassels… oh, and leather gloves that go all the way up. And, unlike some of the outfits we saw tonight, the fit is absolutely flawless. I wish we got to see exactly what was sparkling on his turtleneck/cassock/superhero suit underneath his jacket, but they’ve got places to be and new nations to create, and I can’t be picky. 

My only misgiving about Dwyane’s amazing hood is that it dethroned Alicia Keys, who prior to that had my favourite headpiece of the night: 

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She looks stunning, as usual, and as usual, has kept her makeup-free look going really strong. I am biased toward anything with this kind of rounded drape, but even without my preferences, the hood and the shimmer of this gown help to undercut and lighten what might otherwise seem too sweet. Plus, that big ball of bang over her forehead? Everyone’s looking at her face, as they should be. 

Honorable mention in the hat game also goes to Danai Gurira, whose top hat and beaded bangs are deceptively sweet and simple. Unfortunately the rest of the outfit is only ordinary by comparison (I said ‘by comparison’! The bar is high af this year!) but people are going to be using that head and shoulders shot of her for a long, long time to come. If only there was a way to get her saucy walking stick into the frame, pushing the brim of the hat up rakishly like she was Mr. Peanut or something. 

This concludes our sermon on ‘headgear, importance of at Met Gala’. I assume Anna Wintour will assign further reading soon.