This hurts. I don’t want to do this. Gina Rodríguez is slowly starting to suffer from the Jameela Jamil condition of being charming and wonderful on television and well-meaning but grating in person. To put it simply, they both say dumb sh-t sometimes. So, Gina Rodriquez might not be your thing. I get it but she has been my thing for a long time. I love Jane The Virgin. I love how earnest Gina is. I usually leave an awards show wanting MORE GINA. My complaint is usually that we don’t see enough of her. That was not my problem last night. 

I didn’t want to see any more of Gina’s Reem Accra mess of pearls and fabric masquerading as a gown. Listen, I can be mean to this dress because this dress is being MEAN to Gina Rodriquez. The way it fits around her boobs and around her armpits is not flattering. Why is this dress personally attacking Gina Rodriguez and her usual perfectly acceptable sense of style? WHY? 

Gina’s fashion fumble became even more clear when she showed up on stage to present beside Taraji P Henson. I think Duana, Lainey and I all said out loud in unison, “Oh, Gina no.” Beside Taraji, Gina’s boob problem gets even worse because they are wearing similar deep-plunge cuts but TARAJI IS DOING IT WAY BETTER. Her situation looks secure. The shape is spectacular on her. The green velvet is SO GOOD. The more I look at Taraji’s dress, the more mad I get at Gina’s. 

I wore a deep-plunge velvet dress to a wedding on New Year’s Eve. I had to use an entire roll of duct tape to get those suckers to stay where I wanted them to. WHERE WAS GINA’S DUCT TAPE? 

I’m going to stop yelling now. I’m going to try to focus on this cute Gina/Taraji anecdote from behind-the-scenes at the Globes:

Gina Rodriguez and Taraji P. Henson were spotted running through a hallway with a bottle of Moet & Chandon champagne and were blowing kisses at someone else walking behind them.

OK, yes, I do want MORE of Gina and Taraji running around hallways of an awards show with a bottle of Moet. No word on whether this champagne race happened before or after Taraji lost a ring and Terry Crews found it. I don’t know how we got from Gina Rodriguez’s dress is wonky to Terry Crews is a hero protect him at all costs but here we are.