It’s so layered.

And our tangential obsession this week was Brody Jenner’s (the director) cameo appearance. Right?

So yeah, not the strongest episode. But the very end, the very end is very, very promising. Turning a corner for Springtime, hopefully…

Chuck’s face said it all. And he waits!


Does the waiting pay off? You’ve seen Blair kissing Nate, her real life boyfriend groped her leg, this week though, Blair is in green and kissing … everyone! Sebastian Stan came to visit on set, then it’s Nate followed by Chuck, or is it the other way around? The one with the Bass looks way hotter.

Sorry about the delay. Yesterday was a clusterf-ck… but we’re back!

Gossip Girl Weekly

Duana: Dan looks like an idiot in this freezeframe

Michelle: or like the male avril lavigne

Duana: that too.

Michelle: before we begin.... what did you miss the most during this mini-hiatus?

Duana: Blair spiralling back and forth between good and evil - and thereby wreaking havoc on her themed outfits.

Lainey: Sidebar: hate when people misspell “wreaking” as “reeking”. Anyway, missed most – our chats, of course! And hating the Humphreys. I love to hate more than I love to love.

Michelle: I miss the Serena of inappropriate cleavage. And playing where are Rufus' buddha beads.

Duana: and also "WTF is your hair, little J?"

Michelle: true true. ok now that we've paid reverence, i am ready.

Duana: Um, IZ? We just saw IZ?

Michelle: Ya weird. And oh no flash back of gross sex scene. Everyone uses Maybelline Great Lash!

Duana: Great lash mascara! No matter how rich, great lash is the equalizer! Um, Nate just sang

Lainey: Does it sound like Zac Efron? I’m starting not to be able to tell them apart.

Duana: Dan has sideburns

Lainey: all boys who are f-cking their teacher have sideburns. Mary Kay Letourneau’s boy probably had sideburns.

Duana: Look at the attitude in Blake's bony shoulder?

Michelle: Dorota also does hair?

Duana: Serena looks aged. And hung over.

Michelle: She's in stage make up!

Duana: Seven lines of exposition in seven seconds?

Michelle: And one big brooch.

Duana: Didn't we JUST have this scene last time? Wasn't Nelly in again?

Michelle: Ya I'm confused. Maybe they expect us to forget?

Michelle: Who is this Brody Jenner the director?

Duana: HAHAHA. You know, if anyone didn't care about Yale, they'd be up a creek. Jenny, you're lucky to do costumes. Come on now.

Michelle: Why the slow-mo for the teacher walk.

Duana: Who is this SJP wannabe?

Michelle: Seriously. And wait a sec, why is Vanessa backstage?! Vanessa's hair has improved.

Duana: Meanwhile, these two are like from a living room sitcom. Vanessa acts like she's 42

Has there ever been a pair of jeans on GG? Never, right?

Lainey: NEVER. Except Rufus. Does he count?

Michelle: Casual serena in the first episode in the train station?

Duana: Oh, possibly.

Michelle: Has there been an episode without Chuck wearing purple?

Duana: BAD CUT! this is horribly edited! what happened?

Michelle: Maybe they discovered the pretty actress couldn't act?

Duana: "Your date just exited through the kitchen" - this is a book I want to write

Michelle: It could be about your date with the guy who didn't like food!

Duana: Do you think Jenny knows she's never getting another plotline?

Michelle: She's clinging on for the amazing crinoline skirts.

Duana: Now could we read that note?

Michelle: why is the stage manager always super geeky looking? yes. He must see her alone.

Duana: Because of COURSE she couldn’t have gotten a role...See, that's a pretty stage manager.

Michelle: Never tell Blair never Headmistress.

Duana: This is really, really quite ridiculous. Plus didn't nelly get in early decision? isn't there still regular admission?

Michelle: But she said she's not going to get in at all. Doesn't Rufus have a job?

Duana: No, he has a high school student to run his gallery Michelle

Michelle: But Vanessa's there too!

Duana: That was a pathetic attempt to grab the note, Jenny. Oooh, Rachel. that's never smart

How much would it take to wear a fat suit for a week?

Michelle: If Tyra can, so can I!

Lainey: if Gwyneth can, so can I!

Duana: HAHAH

Michelle: No really, I think there's a casting type now "Brody Jenner beard"

Duana: So who's smearing waldorf? And if it's Rachel, who's feeding her the info? Here's my secret - Brody Jenner beard is OK with me.

Michelle: That's because it started as a Charlie Salinger.

Duana: too true.

Michelle: Wouldn't it be Dan telling Rachel?

Duana: WEll in theory, but does he know all this stuff? Enough to tell Rachel?

Michelle: I think so.

Duana: Since he hasn't been talking to her before now and is sending notes?

Michelle: Well they had that one magical night?

Lainey: Only a f-cking Humphrey would pillow talk about high school scandal. This is why I hate him and he’s limp.

Duana: I do enjoy that B can say 'don't be collateral damage' without breaking a sweat. But how are they talking?

Michelle: Facebook? Skype chat?

Duana: I am bored as all hell by Chuck's Hooker with a Heart Of Gold

Michelle: So who do think has bought the hooker to hook up with Chuck?

Duana: His uncle? Also you know how Lainey says green hats mean cuckold? What does purple mean?

You're right, this guy is totally poncy Brody

Michelle: Purple means meant for Chuck.

Lainey: Purple – short men and turned out feet. Like Prince too.

Duana: Speaking of - i like vanessa's dress.

Michelle: Me too. Oh wait it's a shirt.

Duana: And with that, Vanessa spake the truth.

Michelle: In this era of technology, J is a messenger pigeon?

Duana: ohhh, the old 'Cyrano' plot. Dear writers, WE KNOW HOW IT ENDS. Right? Oh sh-t RUfus!

Michelle: Let me look it up on Wiki...

Duana: So wait, they didn't talk last night? My mother would rouse me from my bed.

Michelle: But Rufus is sooooo cool

Duana: And Ms. Carr would've sent him texts before then. So it was morning but now it's 4 PM?

Michelle: No they only communicated by calling cards. Or whatever those are called...

Duana: I know what you mean.

Michelle: In Little Women when she'd be waiting for someone to come visit. But if she wasn't there they'd leave a card

Duana: Laura Ingalls' cost 25 cents for 50

Michelle: Wow.

Duana: it was a dreadful indulgent expense. Wait, is that the same top on vanessa in a different colour?

Michelle: Similar but not the same...Why is S shocked about the press release? They mentioned it last episode.

Duana: Did they? that was so christmas ago

Lainey: I love high school plays. I was in Jean Brodie once. Terrible that I can’t remember what I did… maybe just a stage hand?

Michelle: Couldn't Elle be like 10 years older than him?

Duana: Teterboro airport - one of those things you don't know about until you know

Michelle: Oh I didn't see that coming. duh.

Duana: Oh me either

Michelle: And an acting coach - Dorota is amazing.

Duana: She is. Last actress note - Leighton is the only one who looks her age. That is, Blair's age

Michelle: See it is Dan! That Rachel is trouble.

Duana: Look how classy a backless dress can look when everything else is covered.

Michelle: I covet that dress.

Duana: then why is he letting rufus control him?

Michelle: Whoa Rachel - why the weird white tank?

Duana: and the micro mini

Michelle: She's trying to dress more like Serena! Is this supposed to be chemistry?

Duana: I guess, or 'revealing a wrist' supposed to be sexy, like in the play. She's like the trashy girl in jr. choir circa 1992

Michelle: And the tattoos for the secret society...

Duana: I just can't get over the geometric sideburns. oh BAD BAD tank

Michelle: Everyone's doing accents? Oh la.

Duana: Oh, fat Nelly. God forbid they hire an actual heavy actress.

Michelle: Could you imagine?

Duana: Sorry, what was the point of that play, other than the lattice set which I want for my patio?

Michelle: It is one of the many layers of this epsiode that is supposed to foreshadow. They're so deep.

(UGH - this must end).

Duana: I know.

Michelle: Why does Chuck care about her? Why don't they explain?

Lainey: That’s the last thing they need to explain. First explain what is the point of a Humphrey? Vanessa Hudgens could be a Humphrey.

Duana: You know what else must end? This chuck storyline. Who cares? I do like that chair, though. Am I old?

Michelle: That's because it's like one at Eye Spy.

Lainey: please stop talking about furniture. Next thing, you’ll be comparing strollers and daycares and I’ll have to stop being friends with you.

Duana: Wait, that was Nate leaving Vanessa behind? SPELL IT OUT, peeps.

Michelle: That's one mean gobo

Duana: so true.

Michelle: i can see the lightbulb over dan's head.

Duana: When Dan thinks hard, his lips don't meet

Lainey: Like Robert pattinson

Michelle: It's like Robert Pattinson posing.

Duana: OK, I am SO in love with fat Nelly

Michelle: Nelly and Dorota should have a spin off.

Duana: maybe Nelly can play a dual role on the spinoff. Do you ever get the impression that Jenny is in a whole other show? She says things to people and they don't care.

Michelle: How is Jenny going to save the day? And there's her purpose?

Duana: You know, I really wish they'd taught him to say dilettante before that scene. Jenny, with uniforms and clothes. And crinolines and not much else

Michelle: Brody Jenner’s Brody's coming out was my favorite part of this episode.

Duana: Vanessa, is that your bag or your laptop case?

Michelle: DV cam

Duana: Didn't I say someone would say they were gay?

Michelle: Well it IS a theatre focused episode... so OBVIOUSLY...

Duana: Oh, featherhair, don't be sad. That's her response? Tomatoes? I feel really sad for this episode

Michelle: So Nate just realizes they have nothing in common? I thought that was the reason he liked her?

Duana: OK, so wait a second, was she his dad's? What is HAPPENING in this B Plot about nothing?

Michelle: Everyone uses Chuck Bass... this is not a surprise.

Duana: No, but he's usually a little more discerning with his heart. "How do we get Dan to break up with the teacher in one episode?"

Michelle: How did we get to them even being together?

Duana: How did Dan just become my favourite character in one line?

Lainey: Check yourself Duana.

Michelle: She is wearing a white bra under her seethru white tank...

Duana: It's as though her fashion can't compete with Blair either

Michelle: No Blair don't have empathy..That's no fun...

Duana: Plus, remember when Serena yelled about blair being a bad friend back there? WTF was she on about? So random


And next episode they'll probably be shopping together at Bendels. We need Chuck and Blair to be in a scene together. That will make it all better. This episode was like a lullaby.

Duana: It's like people and voices you know with no conflict and no problems. Oh, strummy guitar of you were right..

Michelle: If that was interesting, I'd have my own reality show.

Duana: I just laughed out loud and the cat got annoyed

Michelle: Sorry zadiesmith

Duana: oh! Chuck is looking for Blair!

Michelle: (ps i saw ben's Kindle today. Have you seen one yet? amazing)

Lainey: he was showing everyone. I was mad with jealousy. Does every book come on Kindle now?

Duana: I can't wait. My mom's getting one for next xmas. See the bitch is back therefore she's wearing a headband. Also, (I'm rewatching) does it mean you're best friends if it comes out "yrstlmybessfrennn"

Michelle: Only if she gives her a best friend half heart necklace

Duana: from Consumers Distributing.

Lainey: that’s where my dad bought my cabbage patch kid.

Michelle: Once again, why were we supposed to buy Dan and Rachel's connection? Oh he's waiting for Blair...

Duana: No idea why I cared. They cut out all the scenes that said, like "you're so mature, dan". Wait, what? Eew. Why?

Michelle: Because they're playing opera as background music?

Duana: I don't - who - is that who I think it is?

Michelle: I only know him from this ep.

Duana: that's what I thought. so he's a wristy, right?

Lainey: He’s Leighton’s real life boyfriend. Why does he remind me of Dominic Cooper? And he stole Nate’s money once…or something? Is that the guy?

Michelle: that's right. So he's like Chuck, and that means she'll fall for him. And chuck will be sad, because he takes all the women from him

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